Part of Letting Go

Published December 27, 2012 by Tasha

He just pretended too much. He tried too hard for something he wasn’t going to feel, with any girl. Which is why he likes the chase so much .. To feel some sort of thrill, to fool himself into thinking he’s feeling something ‘real’.
And unless he gets some help, he will never feel those feelings.
But i can’t belong in his world anymore. I truly believe that i did love him, but he did such a good job in letting me go, leaving no doubt about his mental state & feelings that even if he asked for me back i wouldn’t go. Probably no even as his friend. I can’t trust him, no part of him. He had me fooled & i feel like an idiot … But neither of us belong together anymore.
We had some amazing moments, ones that i know he didn’t fake and that’s enough for me. I know in a few months he will contact me again, its his pattern & that will be a test of my strength.
I wish with all my heart that i could be there, that i could help him & support him. But i can’t.
He gave me the picture of a almost perfect, flawless boyfriend & if he stays in my life i wont be able to let that go. I will just fool myself into thinking that side of him was real .. Not a fake. And no future guy can compete with that. No one can compete with a perfect memory.

No matter what either of us may want in a couple of months, we can’t be in each other’s worlds anymore …


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