Still Hanging in There

Published February 4, 2013 by Tasha

Pathetic really …

I don’t know what he is playing at. I don’t know why he keeps opening up and then shutting down.
All last night and this morning we were flirting away. Just like we were together again. And then it suddenly changed. It circled back around to “us” … The “us” that no longer exists.
In simple, he kept saying that he doesn’t want other girls. And the selfish part of him wants me to still want him, to not forget him.

I don’t know what my ex has been smoking lately, but he knows full well that I am not about to forget him. He knows, and I told him this once in a very hysterical night together, that a part of me will always, always, always want him. Oh … I want him so badly. He should know that. Just like I will always love him.

That aside, I have said to myself … If he gets posted to the base in my state, near enough to where I live, we’re in for a shot. If not, if he gets posted to a base in another state, we were never meant to be and it is time for me to move on. If he comes here, it means that we can work on our friendship, making that stronger. Seeing each other will help a lot, rather than this back and forth texting. Not knowing what the other person is thinking, not being able to read their facial expressions. I’ve never liked saying important things over the phone.

I guess it is another waiting game. Maybe this is what 2013 is meant to teach me … To be patient, to relax and just let things be, to understand that good things come to those who wait.

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