#6 – Letters To Him

Published March 17, 2013 by Tasha

To the one I could Never Forget,

I went to “our” church tonight. You know the one? You were the one that introduced me to it. And for years I went along with you. Everyone knew that we were the couple that came to that church. If there was a Sunday that I didn’t come with you, or you didn’t arrive with me, people would inquire, asking where the other was.
Tonight I went back. I went back after 7 months. The last time we went to that church together was your last day here before you had to return back to base, after that amazing four day leave in July/ August. The way you looked at me throughout that church service, how proud I felt, how you glanced down at me with that soft look in your eyes and whispered “i love you always.”

As I walked to a seat, I saw people glance and smile at me. I saw a few people do a double take as I sat down. I saw old faces and new ones. I thought I was okay there. I felt brave. Until we stood up to sing. It was one of the songs that you sung so well. Your voice always hypnotized me and this song made you sound amazing. I remember you holding me, wrapping your arms around me and swinging me gently to the music. I thought life couldn’t get any better than that. I knew I was the luckiest girl there. And tonight, as I sung that song, it suddenly hit me how much I missed you. For so long now I have pushed it away. For so long I have hoped, prayed that in a year or so’s time you will return to me. As I sung and listened to people talk, I remembered everything. Every single memory.
It tugged at my heart strings and I thought it was going to break all over again.

People came and went, engaging me in conversation and dragging me downstairs for “supper”. I went half-heartedly trying to look as if I were enjoying myself. But I always had one eye on the door, not because I wanted to leave but because a big part of me thought you’d walk through them. I know you’re not in town, I know you are away, but I couldn’t stop glancing at the door every now and then.

As I reconnected to people, laughing and joking with them like no time had passed at all, I felt some sort of calm settle over me. It was like a little part of my heart had just healed. I don’t know whether it was God or the people, or everything combined. And the broken part of me started to feel close to you again, like you were there with me. I know I shouldn’t be feeling like this, but it made me feel as if I could come back to this church. For months I didn’t think I could go back, face all those people that thought we were destined to be together. But tonight, as much as the start of the service made me miss you, it felt as if I could do this.

I will never ever stop loving you. That I can promise, I can guarantee. We may never get a chance again, we mightn’t ever be in each other’s life again, but I am so thankful for all you taught me. I am grateful for all the feelings you made me feel and for all the amazing memories, good and bad. Baby, you will always have a piece of my heart, just like I will always have a piece of yours and I hope for both our sake we can get another chance, but if we don’t  ….

Just so you know, I will never forget you.  

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