Back To Square One

Published March 29, 2013 by Tasha

And my world crashes down again.

You know how I said my ex was flying in Thursday (well that was yesterday) and it would be the first time he’d be here and I wouldn’t be seeing him? Well guess who walked into my work last night?

I’ll give you three guesses ….

Yupp. Him. My ex.

Admittedly I work in a Pizza shop, so I have a lot of people come into work I know. But him and his family DO NOT eat the type of pizza I make. They eat the more expensive ones. Only once in my 18 years have I seen him eat the cheaper type of pizzas. Why tonight? Why him?
He knows where I work. Why did he have to be the one to get the pizzas, out of the four people in his family ..?

Out of all the random chances that happen in every day life, we were put together. AGAIN.
Out of all the people in his family he came in to place the order. Out of all the people I worked with I was sent out to talk to him about his order. Out of all the days I work the days he’s here (which was only last night and will be Sunday night) and out of all the hours of the night, he came in on the day I worked and the time I was in full view of the customers.

Seriously. What are the odds? What are the chances of that happening?

It was odd. There was no awkwardness. He was surprised to see me, but happy. And my heart broke. Again. How can he be happy? I mean I’m glad he is, but … What about me? How can he be happy when he completely destroyed me?
We talked for a little bit, mainly about his order because the base he wanted we couldn’t supply at the time.

I can tell you now. I felt sick. I wanted to puke. I was so close to a breakdown it wasn’t funny. Work was intense (we made 500 pizzas in 2 hours, so you can just imagine how fast I had to work and how many orders were there) and he was the lat person I thought I’d see at my work.

Now it’s like back to square one.
I didn’t realise how much I missed him until he was standing there right in front of me.
And I didn’t realise how much I wanted to be with him, until he was there and he wasn’t mine anymore.

2 comments on “Back To Square One

    • I hope not! Thankfully after that post things were able to be straightened out and I now know he will never be apart of my life. His choice. His loss. And strangely enough I’m okay with that. I feel happy and relieved. I think him coming back into my life, even for that brief time, was to complete the healing process. I now feel free of the restraints I had put on myself because I had believed he would come back to me.
      Thank you for your encouragement ๐Ÿ™‚

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