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All posts for the month July, 2013

Recipe Wednesday – Strawberry Shortcake Smoothie

Published July 31, 2013 by Tasha

So this is a new thing I’m starting up and hopefully I’ll remember to do it every Wednesday.
I’m going to post yummy and healthy things that I have found or discovered around the net.
This one is one that I have recently discovered …

Strawberry Shortcake Smoothie

Okay so this smoothie really takes away those sweet cravings we all get (don’t deny it!). I was really surprised when I found that a nice big glass of this was enough to get me through from Breaky to Lunch. And it really does take away most of those sweet tooth cravings.
Be warned though, if you put it in the fridge too long the oats soak up the juice and it becomes extremely thick. But as I found, if you take it out and mix it around for a little bit, it settles down to a thinner mixture. You can also add more milk if you find that it’s too thick.
Another thing, I added honey to have it a little sweeter as the sultanas I put in didn’t make it as sweet as I wanted.

It really is a genius invention!

Prep time:  5 mins
Total time:  5 mins
Serves: 2 (well it served me for three Breakfasts meals in a decent sized glass)
Ingredients 
  • 2 Cups Non Dairy Milk (oat, rice, soya, almond, hemp, coconut drink or raw nut or seed milk)
  • 3 Cups Strawberries
  • 1 Cup Oats (rolled oats or use raw oat groats if following a raw food diet or oatmeal if you don’t have a powerful blender)
  • ¼ Cup Cashew nuts
  • ¼ Cup of Raisins (or other dried fruit or sweetener)
  • 2 teaspoons Vanilla Extract
  • ¼ teaspoon Nutmeg
  • ½ teaspoon Cinnamon
  • Optional: 1 cup of greens
Instructions
  1. Blend the ingredients in the order listed.
  2. Blend the ingredients a few at a time so that your blender can cope with the work, unless you’ve got a high powered blender, then you might be able to add them all in at once.
  3. If it gets too thick, add more water as necessary.
  4. If your blender has made the smoothie too warm, you can either cool it down in the fridge or freezer, or add some ice cubes or frozen fruit to it (You may need to add more water as this will thicken it further).
Nutrition Information
Calories: 411 Fat: 12g Carbohydrates: 70g Sugar: 29g Fiber: 10g Protein: 11g Cholesterol: 0g

Change Up

Published July 24, 2013 by Tasha

This morning is a cold one. I don’t mean the type of cold where you shiver and throw on a jumper. No I mean the type of cold where it’s nearly impossible to get out of bed, where no matter what you do, or how long you soak in the shower you’re still cold. That skin biting, teeth chattering, icey floors feeling cold. So typically I stay in bed, when really I should be sitting in a lecture.

And instead of sitting in one of my psychology lecture’s I have been going through my blog. And all blogs are meant to have a theme right? Well we can all guess what mine is, the heartbreak and emotions throughout my break up. But as the heartbreak comes to a close and as the drama dies down, I find that I’ve become rather boring. During my pain I used to write well, but now that I have healed and I am in a better head space, my posts are dull and uninteresting.

So I’m changing it up a little. I’m still here to offer support and there will still be updates about my love life (or lack of one), whether or not my ex and I are going to make a go of “this” or not and life in general. But I’m adding in a healthy segment. Completely with workouts, recipes and my latest fitness disaster. Plus i need a motivation, so I thought if I tell you guys and then wind up sitting here, stuffing chocolate and chips into my mouth a few months later, someone on here will give me a boot up the ass.
RIGHT?

I’m always in need of a kick up the ass!
Until next time, keep your head up and your heart close.

Here’s to a Little Bit of Everything

Published July 18, 2013 by Tasha

Tonight I have no inspiration to write. I’ve been staring at this blank, white space for awhile now. The curser blinking, waiting for me to do something. I keep getting lost in my thoughts. I don’t even know where they lead, they just float around about everything and nothing.

My ex and I talked last friday, I contacted him. It was actually a really nice talk. We were bickering like we used to. But we haven’t talked since, and I really think its over for us. I wont know for sure until the years out, but it seems like he doesn’t want anything to do with me. He’s continually ignored me. It’s like I don’t exist to him anymore. And it should hurt. But it doesn’t, not really. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t truly accepted it or if I’m just numb to the pain. I just feel low in general.

I do have a “date” tomorrow though. I meant this guy at Dreamworld, and hes quite nice. 10 years older than me, but nice. And I’m doing this “date” for me, not because I see anything with him. I have made it clear what i want and if it’s not what he wants then he should cut his losses now. I’ve told him a little about how my ex and I ended and I’ve told him that this “date” doesn’t mean anything apart from he’s a nice guy.
I’m excited for this “date” or whatever you want to call it. I guess it goes to show that my ex isn’t going to be the only guy that finds me attractive and nice to be with. Unfortunately for me, he’s still the only guy I really want to be with. I’m guessing, hoping that feeling will eventually fade … Just for now I have to focus on myself. I promised myself that I would get through this year without any relationships. I told myself that I would be by myself and really figure out what I want and who I am. And I have to follow through with that. If i can’t keep the promises I say to myself, how am I meant to keep the promises I say to others?

Another seemingly boring development of my life is that I have decided I don’t want to move to America … Well more like I can’t. Financially. And I think that reality check   might have saved me from making a mistake. I don’t know. Maybe it wouldn’t of been a mistake? And I guess I’ll never find out. I know I love it here and this is my home. I have my studies, hobbies, work, friends and family here … When the time came, I think saying goodbye would of been too hard.

Here’s to random ideas!

Unbelievable

Published July 16, 2013 by Tasha

So .. I’m a Psychology student right? I’m only in my first year, and i haven’t learnt a awful lot, so maybe I’m missing something. But what possesses a person to cheat? What possess someone to tear down someone else’s world, knowing the pain they  are going to inflect? Then that person keeps living like its all rainbows and puppies. What person actually wants to hurt that person so much?
How can they sleep at night?

Maybe I should explain what brought on this little rant.

My overseas friend had a boyfriend in the Marines. They went out for two years and were an amazing couple with a lot of history. We started talking last year when he was coming back from deployment and they were having a hard time. At the same time, my (ex) Airman and I were going through a rough patch. We got each other through and it was just another example of how amazing (most) military SOs are in supporting one another. As we got to know each other, talked about our relationship, we talked for hours (even though our time zones make it hard) and we talked pretty much every day and night. At times i felt a little jealous because he loved her so much, even though they were going through a bad time. The week before my ex and I broke up in December, it looked like her relationship was heading in the same direction. As fate would have it, both our boys were coming home on the same day. Even though we were both opposite sides of the world, on the same day we’d know whether or not our relationships would continue. I think that pulled us closer. The days leading up to seeing them we tried our best to keep each other sane. We braved it together. And I will never forget how I was panicking one night and she was there for me through the whole thing.

Well it turned out that my Airman and I broke up but her Marine and her stayed together. I was happy for her but completely heartbroken myself. For a few more months we continued talking and she supported me through the first few heart wrenching months following my break  up. On her side things were almost back to normal. He wanted to keep trying, he wanted to fix the mess he’d made. He loved her and that was that.

Just two weeks ago they broke up. I felt for her. I remember all too well how it felt, how sometimes it still does. We talked and talked and talked about it. The break up was a big shock to everyone and came out of the blue. They had two days before he came hone on leave and he sent a text saying: “I’m done. Its over.” And never spoke to her again. None of us could figure out why. We played with the idea of there being another girl, but it ended up not even being a possibility. She called him, texted him, asked his friends and still he made no effort of contact her. He picked her call up once and she asked him if she could return tis stuff and if they could talk. He hung up.
This guy that was completely head over heels in love with her suddenly didn’t want anything to do with her. His mum and friends said he’d been really lost lately and she’d told me previously that he’d been a little depressed since coming back from deployment. We all put it down to that. We couldn’t see anything else and the two of us, her and me, had explored every option about why he was acting like this. I promised her that he’d talk to her once he’d sorted himself out. She sent him a few nice texts saying how proud of him she was, how much she loved him and that she’d always love and miss him, and always remember their memories. She told him she supports him and is there anytime he needed to talk.

Two days ago we found out he was, has been, cheating. Yes that’s right, even though he denied it, even though it wasn’t a possibility, even though he was the LAST guy on earth to cheat … Well … He did. Here we are dealing with this sucky situation. And even though im not nearly as heart broken as her, not like he was my boyfriend or anything, shes my friend and I’ve been with her through her whole journey. She is so much like me, her ex is so much like mine and our relationships were so similar. And for it to enough like this? I still can’t really wrap my head around it. Im shocked, disappointed and angry.

How can he do this? How can he destroy her world, destroy a girl he loved for two years? How can he do it knowing the pain he is causing? Doesn’t he have a heart?

It got me thinking about my ex. I already know the answer to WHY we broke up wasn’t the only thing in play. I know there were other things, some of them he didn’t have to mention because I already knew, some where just left unsaid. But now I wonder whether one of those things, one of the major things was because there were another girl, or was another girl, in the picture. I don’t think my ex would ever cheat on someone, but my friend thought her Marine wouldn’t even dream of it and now here she is having to deal with the loss of her best friend and relationship in so many ways.
Part of me wants to ask him, but if there were someone else I know i wouldn’t be able to handle it. And I have just started to consistently feel better. I guess if the chance ever came up in the future i might slip it in, but right now it wouldn’t be appropriate (oh did I tell you that my ex and I have actually talked recently?)

Its sick how fate can be twisted like this and how things can change so quickly.

I will never understand what would drive someone to cheat on their partner who they supposedly love and adore. And I don’t think any amount of Psychological training will give me that answer.

Catch up & a Decision

Published July 9, 2013 by Tasha

It has been awhile since I have logged on here and I’m sorry for that. I’ve been avoiding my life. I have to stop doing that, funnily enough.

Nothing much has changed since my last post, but I thought I should write something.

My ex and I haven’t  talked since late June, he has made no effort to contact me. Which makes me feel like complete crap. I know a lot of you say that no contact is good. But we’ve tried that, and we couldn’t keep away from each other. There was always something pulling us back together. But since he came home for those few days, something changed. Something broke. And we haven’t been “us” since then. Whether this is good or bad I don’t know. I miss him, I miss my best friend, I miss him in my life and I certainly miss “us”. But in saying that it is getting better, bit by bit. Instead of a heart gripping pain there’s just a dull ache in the back of my heart. Just like him, he is always in the back of my mind, I can always feel him there, but my life isn’t spiraling out of control without him or the thought of it. That’s progress.

Last weeks sometime my little sister and I went to Screamworld, which is Dreamworld (one of Australia’s theme parks) at night. There was a live DJ, smoke machines, laser lights and of course (most importantly) heaps of thrill rides going. We met two great, lively guys that night and the taller, better looking one of the two asked for my number at the end of the night. He seemed liked a nice guy, sensible and kind and I don’t have much to lose so I gave it to him. We have been texting back and forth since then and he keeps insisting on a relationship. I told him briefly my history with my ex, as he did and we agreed to get to know each other better. Like normal people.
His age concerns me a little, he is 9/10 years older than me and I have always envisioned myself with a guy that is around my age … I have always been willing to date someone 5 years older, 10 is pushing it a little.
Since my break up, im not ready to jump into a relationship that could turn into something serious quickly and I get a feeling that is what this guy wants.
I just really want to remain friends.

My state training is coming along very slowly, I took three weeks off when I shouldn’t off and today was the first day back. I want to die, I’m so sore and tired. But its in a good way. I’m also trying to tone up a lot more. I don’t like my body right now (yes, I’m aware of how vain I just sounded), so I’m moving towards better, healthier eating, more exercise and a better overall mental health.
Lets see how long it lasts when Uni starts.

On a completely different note, part of why I set up this blog was to write everything; feelings, thoughts, moments, memories, everything … Sort of like a diary …
Point to that is to look back on it one day and laugh, smile and cry along with the memories and moments. And today, I have a thought. It was a crazy one, but a thought nonetheless.
I thought about packing up my life and moving to America. Yes, packing up my horse, my studies, my whole life and continuing it in a whole different country.
My logic? Everywhere I go I think of Him. Everything is a trigger for a memory, and even though I’m moving on, it still tugs and pulls at my heart strings in ways I never thought they still could. That isn’t the only reason, I need a change, I want to attend a collage rather than attend a Uni and go back home every day. I want to live somewhere completely different.
I’ve weighed up the pros and cons and I have the rest of the year to decide …. I’m caught between the two.

Next post … I’ll show you all my pros and cons and maybe one of you will be able to shed some light on it.

Checking In

Published July 1, 2013 by Tasha

Nothing new is happening here, but I thought I’d check in.

My ex and I haven’t spoken in the last 5 days and for the first time in a while, I’m okay with it. I know I have done everything, I have said everything and tired everything out. If he wants me, wants us, he’ll make his move. If not we’ll end up being strangers. I have been avoiding facebook though, seeing him online and not wanting to speak to me drives me insane. He knows that I check my messages, but still hasn’t bothered to talk to me. Apparently he’s “busy”. And while I understand that, it’s never stopped him before. But …. For the first time, I’m okay with it. He can go his way and I’ll go mine and if in the end we come together, it’ll be something beautiful.

For the past two weeks I have been talking to two American soldiers and a guy from Sydney. One of the soldiers is deployed right now but he has family here in Australia so he wants to meet up when he comes over here at the end of the year. He seems like a nice guy and so does the guy from Sydney.
He seems like my type of guy … and he makes me smile, but every time i think about meeting up with him my mind still wanders to my ex, wondering what would happen if I got involved with someone else.
Maybe that means I shouldn’t be dragging anyone into my mess of a life just yet.

The weather is pretty shitty here at the moment. Its been raining all week and you can’t do anything unless you want to die from hypothermia …. So I’m holed up in my room, watching movies, eating crappy food and waiting the weather out. Although, this afternoon I’m going off to the gym. I have 5 months to have the summer body I have been wanting all year … Time to get my lazy ass into gear.

That’s all I have for now …. See? Nothing interesting or exciting. Just checking in.