study

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Half – way There

Published July 28, 2014 by Tasha

I know, I know. Its been a while.
I haven’t forgotten you guys, I’m just incredibly busy.

We arrived at Tindal Saturday afternoon, the 19th. We were tired, annoyed, and over driving, over each other. We were totally and utterly sick of each other, or maybe that was just the exhaustion setting in.

My Ute decided to crap itself half- way there. In the middle of no where. With no phone reception.

The new shoxs that were put in after the car was serviced, completely exploded. As in the car was no drivable at all, and red stuff and bits of the shoxs flew everywhere. That lost us a day.
The Boy and I were frantically driving back and forth trying to get new shoxs. NO ONE had any in store and we would have to wait a day (at the least) to wait for them. This is after we (or should I saw he) drove the 4 hours to the nearest town, Mt Isa.

Neither of us had a good nights sleep, so we both woke up grumpy and tired. The next day wasn’t much better.
I had to make the 4 hour trip to the Ute in a car with a mechanic and then back again, by myself. I do not recommend it.

But. I am here now. Northern Territory. Darwin. My new “home”.
My dorm is finally all unpacked and everything is where it should be.
My beautiful horse is happy in his (extremely bare) paddock, and has enjoyed no week of exercise.
I am trying, and succeeding, to fit into Uni life and living on Campus. Its only my second week at this Uni, but I’m finding it really good.

The only thing that isn’t going well, is the Boy. I don’t know what’s  going on there, God knows I’ve tried to ask. He’s moody, touchy and just not his usual affectionate self.  After a few days of crying and trying to figure out where I’ve gone wrong, convinced that he’s going to break up with me … I’ve now just settled into a calm space.
He’s having his moment and I just have to give him his space.

As my best friend said, this is a big change. Not only for me but for him. Having me a hell of a lot closer (only 3 hours car drive away) then a $800/$1000 4 hour plane trip away. So I’m letting him chill.
I am too busy for his shit right now. And until he wants to talk or tells me it’s over, everything is okay.

He will come around. He always does.

And you know what’s “funny”? I thought being closer to him would almost guarantee that i get to spend more time with him. Nope. Now I won’t be able to see him for a month + because of some sort of military exercise. Fuck.

As for me. I’m trying to fit in riding, Uni (study!!!), work (when i get it), gym, and soccer (just need to find a team). I’m not sure about the soccer, I’m not sure how much comittment it’s going to require. I know that I will have shows some weekends (next season) and other weekends I’ll be with the Boy.
Will i have time to attend their games as well?
But in saying that I really want to try.

Sorry this is such a mismatch post. I’m so tired.
It’s 10 to 11pm here and I’m yet to have a shower.
Ugh.

A New Beginning

Published March 20, 2013 by Tasha

Tomorrow is my new beginning … So to speak.
I have tried to do this so many times, but I feel that I am stronger enough to do it this time. For good.
My room is half clean and I am making headway with my “jobs” list that is way too long.

I only have half a day to complete most things before I have to go into Uni for two classes, but at least it’s a start. To kick start my day I have my gym clothes laid out and I have a pump (weight) class lined up. It is a class that tones me up super fast and I use to love doing it because it took my mind off my (ex) Airman. For that 45 minutes or an hour I was just able to focus on ME.
Afterwards I have riding and then it’s back home to finish off my list.

I’m setting up a routine so I eat healthily, exercise and at the same time get everything done. I know half the reason why I feel so shitty most days is because I am not eating properly. Since the break up, even though I have tried a few times to get myself back on track, I have stopped my usual routine.
From tomorrow on wards that is going to change. And the reason I am writing about this is so I have extra motivation. I have now published my goals on the internet and if I come back in a few days time telling you all how crap life is, how I can’t reach my goals and just being a total whinge pot, I would look as if I’ve let myself down. And that’s the last thing I am willing to do right now. A lot of people in my life have let me down, I can’t be one of them.

Of course I am going to have my crap days (and yeah .. You’re all going to have to sit through more depressive posts … Ma Bad!) but at least half of the things I put up will be positive to out way my bad days. Because if I look back on my posts now … They aren’t all the positive. They are helpful, and give you a insight on how I am feeling … But really … They are just all these bad emotions,that yeah I needed to get out, but aren’t very helpful or useful to me anymore.

I need to get back into shape, both my mind and my body. And really, its about time I actually did something about it.